Turkey Legs and Rocket Ships

So I've got family on the brain. And in the most specific, sense memory sort of ways.

You know when your emotions sneak up on you and surprise you, and out of the blue, for a reason no one else in the room would understand, you're completely choked up?

Yeah.

2 days of that already, and it's making me miss home for the holidays. And mom's home cooking. And baking.

Don't worry, I'm gonna be just fine and enjoy the heck out of Christmas (even if I have to work that day), but moreso than other years, the grief and loneliness pangs are striking my heart fervently.

Now here's the real kicker. Is it weird that I relish and enjoy them?

I'm not sure, but I think it's because they remind me that I'm loved, that I love, that I'm human...

That despite all the changes in my life, despite all the travels and growth and culture and career, I'm still that little kid who adores his dad.

See, that's what triggered it all. Last night at the onsen the CUTEST Japanese toddler was just hanging out with his dad in the collagen pool, and something about that adoration, that unconditional trust, the gleam in the kid's eye, it just made me miss the crap out of my father.

And yeah. I got choked up. And yeah, I cried a little later in the bubbly pool. Just a couple tears. Not too many...

Cuz it's the holidays. And I SHOULD miss my dad. And many days life goes by without grief pains or missing him till it hurts, and, well, that's probably a good thing. So when they shock me, less sharply than they did Sophomore year Thanksgiving in the stairwell when I realized I'd never have two parents pick me up ever again, I'm thankful that deep down, despite all the teenage angst and arguments, that I'm still that kid who loves my dad. Beyond mortality.

And so, I rode StarJets in Tomorrowland tonight. And I took an illegal video whilst doing so.

Why? Because when I was 9 or 10 at Disneyland, and again when we went to Disney World when I was in high school, my dad and I always rode the Rockets at night. Usually as the last ride. Cuz I think it was his favorite.

Doesn't really matter. I just remember that it was dad and me time.

So I rode the rockets. For my dad. For me. For Christmas.

And I took another forbidden video on Big Thunder Mountain because my Aunt Loretta had me CONVINCED the rocks were really gonna fall on me when I was 9 or 10 and sitting in that train next to her. And well, I wanted to tell her what that meant to me. Cuz she probably doesn't remember it, but I sure do.

And the Electrical Parade. Dad loved that one too.

And I ate a smoked turkey leg. Just to pay a little tribute to my parents and my sister and that Thanksgiving in Houston when we went to Disney for the week. And had a couple turkey legs in Florida's Tomorrowland because it was Thanksgiving Day, and well, you gotta have turkey somehow!

So yeah. I've got family on the brain. And it's probably because I'm wrapping up my shopping, wrote my Christmas cards, and have started receiving packages in the mail.

So forgive me for being a bit sappy. I gotta call my mother.

Cuz guess what. I love her too. And miss her even more this holiday season.

That and her cinnamon rolls.