I baked a cake last night, and this evening I made a delicious cream cheese frosting to top it off. Oh. And I bought some green food coloring so I could write "Happy Birthday" on it. And managed to do so using a ziploc bag as an icing tube. All thanks to the help of my dear friend Joseph.
And yes, I'm well aware all my posts of late seem to involve food.
"Please sir, can I have some more?"
My good friend Joe (not the same as the aforementioned Joseph) sprained his ankle today, which made me sad because now I won't have my lunch buddy for a few days at the least. :-(
Which reminds me of junior year when I found out I had mono and sprained my ankle in a rehearsal on the same day. And this was about the time that I had worked on 5 separate productions in the course of one week... Man, was I overworked!
There's a lot of drama right now at work with the scheduling, because, surprise, surprise, the shift schedules haven't really been fair for months now... but we haven't quite figured out how to get the Japanese to solve it yet. We'll see what happens...
And I spoke with Jordan which made me realize how independent I've become, how much I've missed the past few weeks while I've been fighting off that nasty cold, and how ambivalent I've become about going home.
I think it's just at the point (about 3 months away) where I'm really starting to love my life here and realizing I'm not ready for it to end. Plus I have a lot to look forward to in terms of guests and vacations and events (both long and short-term). And mostly, I'm just realizing how much I've changed.
And I'm starting to fear going back to my old life, knowing it will be different (especially since I've given up my apartment), but also fearing that I will slip back into many of my old habits and faults that I've worked on here.
I'm different now, and hopefully in mostly better ways. And I fear that going back to the grind of auditions and unemployment will only send me back to the Topher from a year ago, a much less wise and seasoned individual. I'm scared that all the experiences and memories I've made here will start to fade away. I'm basically scared that Japan won't be as important to me as it is right now.
Which all will be for the better, since I will be moving forward with my life. I just don't wanna move backwards.
And that, my friends, is where I am right now. Not quite ready to face the future.
So I'll live in denial for a few more days.
Just a few.
