Thursday

The weekly rundown:

First, I finally broke the Radio City audition glass ceiling this year and didn't get a "Thank you!" after I sang...  I think I finally had some idea of what to sing when I walked in the room.

Too bad I got let go at the final cut today after working my tail off in the callback.

Guess that glass ceiling just got a little higher.  At least I don't have to wait 2 months to find out I didn't get the job though, right?

Oh, and on that note, Wednesday was frightfully cold and rainy, and after keeping us out in the cold for 2 hours, the nice folks at Radio City didn't bother to tell us we wouldn't be able to leave once we got inside and would be held hostage until our number was called... 4 hours later.   With no chance to eat.

WTF, Radio City, WTF?

Secondly, I am looking forward to this weekend to finally sleep in past 7 AM.  Seriously, when did I turn into my father?

Third, it was my father's birthday today.  This year was the year I kinda forgot about him for part of the day (because I was busy pulling up for Radio City) and it just felt weird.  Thank goodness I had the afternoon to spend some time at home, and pizza and beer to eat my feelings for Thursday Night Pizza Party.

Sadly, that tradition has fallen by the wayside now that the old apartment is gone, but Kate and I resurrected it partially this evening.  We just need to get some of our good friends back in the game of Grey's and Papa John's.  At least in time for the dramatic season finale next week.

Fourth, well, that's really all.  My life isn't that interesting now that I'm not living in Japan anymore.  I really miss it, so much so that I found an amazing Japanese restaurant on 49th and stopped in to have a bowl of ramen after the cold imprisonment yesterday.  Sapporo was 99% authentic, though I wish it hadn't been two Hispanic guys cooking my food.  And the ramen noodles were a little thin... And not quite white-yellow enough.  But the broth and pork were spot on.

Seeing the Japanese people's faces when I shouted "gochi so sama deshita!" as I left the restaurant was PRICELESS.  They so didn't see that one coming, nor the fact that I understood half of what was happening in the restaurant.  It made me feel oddly at home.  Sigh.

I'm heading to see Leslie Jordan's show tomorrow night (since he was so great at the Easter Bonnet), and I was devastated to hear that Doris Eaton Travis passed yesterday.  I met her years ago doing Will Rogers and have seen her at the Easter Bonnet twice since then (the last time still kicking away only 2 weeks ago), and sadly our last-living-at-106 Follies girl has joined my dad on the other side.  What an honor to experience her joy and memories 3 different times.

My father was a man who understood the importance of words and the power of listening.  Something I'm still learning every day.  A man who believed "sainthood is achievable", that "something worth doing is worth doing right", and who taught me the true power of music with his guitar strums.

Happy Birthday, Dad, I love you.

The Transition Begins

I'm home.

And I have blonde(r) hair now. Cut like Sawyer's. I love it.

It's amazing what those 10 extra Volts do to my hairdryer. Power and a perfect amount of heat manage the curly puff so much better!

And it seems (not to jinx it or anything) that I might be *almost* over my jetlag, since I slept from 12 to 7:15 this morning and only woke up once, and simply rolled over and went back to sleep. Though waking up 3:30 tomorrow morning to work the Bronx Zoo event probably isn't going to help...

My body has definitely not adjusted to American tastes, portion sizes, or food quality yet. I had Papa John's for dinner last night, and I foolishly ate 4 pieces. I forgot how much bigger they were than Japanese L size, and my stomach instantly cramped up. Note to self.

I've had Dunkin' twice now, and a small iced coffee seems just obnoxiously huge, and one donut was too much. Now we know why Americans are fat.

Which, seeing them walking the streets of Astoria, by the way, has devastated me. I told everyone in Japan that obesity was much more of a problem in middle America since most people in NYC walk and take public transport, but it's a lie. Wake up, people... we're fat and our food supply is completely bastardized.

9 months ago, I would have defended it to the T, saying "look at me, I eat whatever I want". Now I'm thinking those 26 years are gonna show up with health problems and weird chemical reactions down the road. I'm not saying there aren't good choices, but we surely need to eat smaller and fresher portions. I mean, I was in the grocery store overwhelmed at how HUGE everything was.

But don't worry. I'll still eat pizza when I want to, maybe just a few fewer slices.

And I'm so glad to have cereal again, though seeing 100 square feet of cereal space was literally overwhelming. I never thought I'd say this, but there might actually be TOO many cereal choices.

Japan. You changed me.

It's been gorgeous and sunny here and I've started the moving-in process (it sucks), but I'm also avoiding it well. I think I'm taking my vacation from vacation these two days and just moving at a slower speed than the rest of the city. Thankfully too, since yesterday the NFL draft and Obama ground Manhattan to a halt and they were shooting a new film at the Ditmars stop. No thank you.

I'm heading into the city to take care of all my union dues and address changes, and then meeting up with Erin and Meg for dinner or a drink. Dropped off my comforter to dry clean and did laundry this morning since it seems the girl using my stuff didn't bother to wash or clean anything. Missing pillows, pillowcases, and found a pair of underwear in my fitted sheet. Just gross.

Welcome back to NY, Tophs. The grit of Times Square awaits.

I think I miss Japan.

A whole helluva lot.

A New World

As I've mentioned before, I rarely communicate through song lyrics because they so rarely cause heightened emotion to swell inside me like a Romantic crescendo. When they do, nine times out of ten, they cause a volcanic catharsis, in the true Greek drama sense of the word, of physical and emotional outpouring. Usually in the form of 5-minute chills, a Nile of tears, or both.

So yes, today, probably for the first time since I saw Next to Normal, wept, and have had multiple repeat catharses listening to its album, music spoke to me through an upheaval of tears, crying for the sadness that too many gigs in too many places have taught me to restrain. I was entirely caught off guard by the lyrics, the way they burned me with their poignancy, imbibed me with despair, sparked me with elation. 

Especially because I've heard the song A LOT in the past nine years. I'm pretty sure I have it memorized. I freaking music directed the show, was completely inspired by the brilliance of the score and vocal arrangements, but somehow never felt the power of these lyrics like a did today.

Probably because they've never felt so personal.

Here they are, the lyrics from the opening of "Songs for a New World":

A new world calls across the ocean.
A new world calls across the sky.
A new world whispers in the shadows:
"Time to fly, time to fly".

It's about one moment,
that moment before it all becomes clear
and in that one moment,
you start to believe there's nothing to fear.

It's about one second,
and just when you're on the verge of success
the sky starts to change
and the wind starts to blow...

And oh, you're suddenly a stranger,
There's no explaining where you stand
and you didn't know that you sometimes have to go
round an unexpected bend
and the road will end in a new world

A new world calls for me to follow
A new world waits for my reply
A new world holds me to a promise
standing by, standing by

It's about one moment
that moment you think you know where you stand
and in that one moment
the things that you're sure of slip from your hand
you've got one second
to try to be clear, to try to stand tall
but nothing's the same and the wind starts to blow...

And oh, you're suddenly a stranger in some completely different land
and you thought you knew,
but you didn't have a clue
that the surface sometimes cracks
to reveal the tracks to a new world

You have a house in the hills
You have a job on the coast
You've found a lover you're sure you believe in
You've got a pool in the back
you get the part of your life
you hold the room in your hand

but then the earthquake hits
then the bank closes in
and you realize you didn't know anything
nobody told you the best way to steer when the wind starts to blow

and oh you're suddenly a stranger
(all of a sudden) your life is different than you planned
and you have to stay till you somehow find a way to be sure of what will be
when you might be free 

a new world crashes down like thunder
a new world charging through the air
a new world just beyond the mountain
waiting there, waiting there

a new world shattering the silence
there's a new world i'm afraid to see
a new world louder every moment
come to me, come to me

Last Day of Firsts

For my final day in Japan (for now, I hope), I decided to a do a lot of things for the first time, both intentionally and subconsciously.

I fell asleep on the trains and in my delirium half-heard my stop and realized I missed a second too late... TWICE. Seriously, I haven't missed a stop or gone the wrong way on a train in 9 months, and I do it on my last day in Japan.

I blame it on the 5-hour red-eye.

On the way back from the airport I completely missed Funabashi, realized it, and was gathering the last of my bags as the door closed in my face. Which wouldn't have been that bad, if the "Commuter Express" train I'd been on for the previous 50 minutes hadn't basically been a local and then finally decided to pick up the pace and skip 6 stops until I missed mine. Boo. Luckily, I only had to walk across the platform and a return "Limited Express" train came within about 2 minutes. So my fears of a 30-minute detour turned out to be only 15. And because I rushed once I did reach Funabashi, I was able to make the Musashino train at 9:48 that, as it turns out, is the same one I would have caught had I not made the error.

Now it's REALLY embarassing that I did this again this afternoon, and that's not even including the fact that my memory failed me and I got off a stop too early and had to walk a few extra blocks when going to my haircut. On the way back, I once again dazed off and went a stop too far. But at least on the subway it's super easy to turn around and go a stop back.

I also bravely ventured into the world of highlighting my hair. While it didn't turn out as drastic as I'd thought it might and kind of hoped, I do suddenly look delightfully sun-kissed, like it's August instead of April. Thanks Thailand tan and Toni & Guy hair color.

I was very nervous, and almost chickened out, but I'm so glad I did. I ran into Mitchell from the new cast also getting his hair cut and we had our own customer version of Steel Magnolias in the salon. I especially liked the part where I had a Stewie head of tin foil... too bad my camera wasn't nearby.

Pictures to come of it, though truthfully I'm waiting to surprise my friends at home. It's not super drastic, but when the sun hits it, I look very nice. I think it'll be perfect for my transition back to New York.

I also decided to go back to Coco Ichibanya for the first time since I went with Kathryn and have my final tonkatsu curry in Japan. It was AMAZING! I kept planning to go there, and something else always came up, but yesterday, it was perfect.

Finally, I went to the Hub like I did my first time and had food and some Jack and Cokes and a J-size tarantula. Gotta go for the nostalgia, right? It was bizarre to be there with so many young, new faces, especially when it turned into a gay dance club at the end of the night. So not the beer and darts-throwing Hub from winter contract. But still a lot of fun.

And that my friends, was my last full day in Japan. Wow.

In Between

I fell in love with Japan all over again this weekend.

I guess it's easier to do that when you don't have to work 10 hours a day and spring has sprung. Sunshine, cherry blossoms, perfect 65 degree weather? Yeah. I missed my home.

Travelling on Friday was surprisingly easy, though I must say I'm terribly, terribly sorry I didn't stop at the Starbucks or Burger King before security and immigration. I foolishly expected, much like any normal airport, that there would be a plethora of dining options past security. But Taipei doesn't seem to feel the same way... WTF, Taipei? Don't you realize that sometimes people show up early for their flight and are HUNGRY? I mean, this is an international airport we're talking about here and people will be flying for HOURS and maybe would like a snack or quick beverage before they fly. Seriously, don't you think providing a service like FOOD would be helpful?

Apparently not. It's far more important to sell Kiehl's and Polo Ralph Lauren and Johnnie Walker scotch in specialty stores screaming to be included at the Galleria in Houston. Apparently 1000 Duty-Free stores and a Hello Kitty playland and museums dedicated to the Aboriginal tribes of Taiwan are more important than satisfying starving flyers. WTF, Taoyuan International Airport, WTF?

Besides that minor complaint, I had a lovely travel day, including a speedy train ride home from Narita. It's amazing how difficult it was to switch back to Japanese after only a week speaking two words of Mandarin. That really surprised me.

Michael and I continued our weekly tradition of enjoying LOST together (with a little Japanese KFC), and then I hit the hay after waking up so early. I'm impressed how far I traveled when you think about it... from the east coast of Taiwan, a 2 hour train and hour bus to Taipiei, a 3 hour flight to Tokyo, and another train and bus ride to get back to E-Village. All with a smile and some overdue sunshine!

Saturday was a gorgeous day, and I had the opportunity to take a final bike ride down to our seawall. I was surprised to find that the construction that barred turning left (east) had finally ended and an extension of the seaside park continued all the way to the eastern edge of Urayasu. I had a most delicious teriyaki chicken with chipotle mayo on a sesame seed bun sandwich from Pan Jewel for lunch. It honestly just makes it harder to leave when you discover something new two days before you leave. (I discovered chocolate croissants from Mini One the next day too. Boo.) Turns out there are also some cemeteries between the onsen and the seawall and I witnessed a Japanese funeral in progress. It was pretty sublime.

I proceeded down the seawall on the eastern side all the way to the street by the Emion, which means I discovered a beautiful summer bike ride the day before I leave. Oh well.

For one of the first times in my life, my inherent sense of directional memory failed me. I tried to go to the American Pharmacy in the Maronouchi district near Tokyo Station that Campbell showed me on my first adventure back in August, and for the life of me I could not find the right building. I really wanted to pick up some good sunscreen for Thailand, so I used my internet skills later Saturday night, and Evan played a good honey-do hubby and stopped by the store on Sunday since it happened to be in the same building where he was meeting a friend for lunch. So it all worked out, but I lost an hour and 1000 yen trying to find my way on Saturday afternoon.

I had the great fortune of hooking up with my cousin Jennifer on my dad's side while she was visiting, and we stopped off in Odaiba for a quick dinner at Monsoon. The food was delicious, the view of Rainbow Bridge even better, and I think I made one of Jennifer's life dreams come true when she discovered I could take her to Muscle Park and she could attempt the Sasuke obstacle course. I'm so thrilled I could surprise both of us and fulfill one of her travelling wishes. I think that's the best part of living on the other side of the world.

I had a great time seeing her, which means I've now seen 12 members of my family and 6 good friends while I've been in Japan. I couldn't be more blessed, now could I?

Sunday's weather made it terrible to leave Japan, but it was perfect weather for a picnic in the park with the Poly girls. I'm so glad I got to truly hang out with Sina (and eat Mormon jello!) again before I left. She's been such a wonderful and welcoming friend here (as have all the Poly girls) and always feeds me delicious food. I owe her big time for that.

I had some major laundry and errands and packing to do before heading out for Thailand today, but I did have time to have dinner with Satoshi at the station. It was so good to have one last Japanese meal and spend time with a friend.

This morning dawned way too early to head out for the Emion shuttle to the airport. Evan and I are SO EXCITED that we are headed to Thailand. We're not quite sure about our plans for this evening, whether to stay in Bangkok or head down the coast to Trat, because of the political unrest and violence that finally erupted in Bangkok this weekend. Though the situation is heated, I've been very thorough in checking with the State Dept. website and all the news online, and travel in Thailand is still generally safe. We just need to stay away from the major areas in Bangkok where the red shirts are protesting. So our new plan is to talk to the Tourist Info Desk at the airport and find out our best plan for the evening.

I don't really care, because either way we head to the beach tomorrow, and the temperature today is a pleasant 88 degrees! FINALLY! I'm just sad that Thailand is in the middle of such turmoil, and that people are being hurt physically, democratically, and economically. We want to be smart and avoid any potentially dangerous situation, yet it will be enlightening to visit a country in the midst of such heated political rhetoric. We'll see, won't we?

Now we're 40,000 feet above China or somewhere else in Southeast Asia, finally experiencing the beauty of Thai Airways (suck on this service, Delta!) and our first taste of Thai culture (they're wonderful). The food was amazing (chicken panang curry, beef and mashed potatoes, smoked salmon salad), and Evan is dying over the free alcohol. Pillows, blankets, real silverware, and newspapers too! Only thing missing is seat-back television.

I'm so stoked to experience Thailand, and have no idea what this week will hold. I'm still not ready to go back to the States, but maybe a tan, vacation, and a haircut will change all that.

Rupert Fails and Takes a Fall

So today I had my first (and hopefully only) bicycle accident in Japan. Luckily, not involving anyone else (besides the lady I avoided decimating by crashing) or any serious injury.

But I guess it was bound to happen. I know this past summer lots of gai-jin had random crashes with idiot university students, the poles in the sidewalk, etc. I even remember seeing a guy on a bike hit an old lady on a street corner in Kamakura.

That being said, they don't happen frequently, and the VERY interesting thing is that no one here wears helmets, pretty much I assume because people don't crash.

Just the gai-jin.

It's a good thing my mom's on a plane flight here and not reading this blog! Grandparents, don't worry, I'm absolutely fine.

See there's stairs leading up to my apartment complex, and a ramp on the side that we ride our bikes down. You have to make a rather hard right turn while biking to get onto the sidewalk that leads to the street corner. Unfortunately, it's a very blind corner for oncoming traffic from the left side because our meeting room flanks the corner. Now in 7 months, I've never even encountered anyone walking or riding a bike there when I leave, and so I've become quite complacent.

Which I guess is why they say 90% of accidents happen less than 5 miles from home. Mine happened on the front steps!

But, in any right-of-way situation, I was at fault. And yes, a woman was in exactly the right place for me not to be able to avoid her at exactly the right time. She was riding her bike down the sidewalk, and I came careening down the ramp a little too fast and therefore braked so as to avoid a crash. Whilst turning a hard right which caused me to tip over to the right and stop. And luckily not hit her.

I guess I should've fixed those squeaky brakes now that spring is approaching.

Well she was quite worried, and I'm sure I looked a little shocked and my right hand and knee were in a little pain. She kept apologizing, and it took me some time to assure her I was indeed daijobu and it was actually my fault.

So, random neighbor I almost took out today, I'm sorry.

And I have a very small scrape on my knee, a slight bruise, but other than that I'm perfectly fine. I did rip a hole in my sneaker and its shoelace, but I'm happy I didn't tear a hole in the knee of my jeans.

But I guess I learned my lesson. Complacency is never safe, even if you're in a very safe bicycle and pedestrian culture. Riding a bike without a helmet can always be dangerous, and one should be careful, not careless, around blind corners and intersections.

I'm just glad no one got hurt!

Cake

Not much happened today, but there are a few events worth noting.

I baked a cake last night, and this evening I made a delicious cream cheese frosting to top it off. Oh. And I bought some green food coloring so I could write "Happy Birthday" on it. And managed to do so using a ziploc bag as an icing tube. All thanks to the help of my dear friend Joseph.

And yes, I'm well aware all my posts of late seem to involve food.

"Please sir, can I have some more?"

My good friend Joe (not the same as the aforementioned Joseph) sprained his ankle today, which made me sad because now I won't have my lunch buddy for a few days at the least. :-(

Which reminds me of junior year when I found out I had mono and sprained my ankle in a rehearsal on the same day. And this was about the time that I had worked on 5 separate productions in the course of one week... Man, was I overworked!

There's a lot of drama right now at work with the scheduling, because, surprise, surprise, the shift schedules haven't really been fair for months now... but we haven't quite figured out how to get the Japanese to solve it yet. We'll see what happens...

And I spoke with Jordan which made me realize how independent I've become, how much I've missed the past few weeks while I've been fighting off that nasty cold, and how ambivalent I've become about going home.

I think it's just at the point (about 3 months away) where I'm really starting to love my life here and realizing I'm not ready for it to end. Plus I have a lot to look forward to in terms of guests and vacations and events (both long and short-term). And mostly, I'm just realizing how much I've changed.

And I'm starting to fear going back to my old life, knowing it will be different (especially since I've given up my apartment), but also fearing that I will slip back into many of my old habits and faults that I've worked on here.

I'm different now, and hopefully in mostly better ways. And I fear that going back to the grind of auditions and unemployment will only send me back to the Topher from a year ago, a much less wise and seasoned individual. I'm scared that all the experiences and memories I've made here will start to fade away. I'm basically scared that Japan won't be as important to me as it is right now.

Which all will be for the better, since I will be moving forward with my life. I just don't wanna move backwards.

And that, my friends, is where I am right now. Not quite ready to face the future.

So I'll live in denial for a few more days.

Just a few.

Signs You're a Gai-jin Actor Who's Been in Japan 6 months

Just a little list of not-so-commonplace occurrences that are strangely commonplace when you live in Japan and work for Mickey Mouse:

1. You're drinking your morning coffee at 16:00 when the sun's about to set (and apparently aren't phased by using military time).

2. When you wake up at 1:49 PM, you realize you can't remember the last time you accidentally slept that late without intending to do so, being sick, or being hungover.

3. You force yourself to "do something" on your day off, so you go to the station for Starbucks and groceries and then do laundry.

4. You feel a sense of accomplishment that it only took you ten minutes to go to the Ito Yokado and buy baking powder, because you prepared by writing the katakana and Kanji translations down to make it easier when asking the lady for help.

5. You're shocked when someone speaks English to you.

6. Blonde people look weird.

7. Tall people look weird.

8. You don't hit your head on the subway train any more.

9. You're excited when it's raining and gross outside so you can watch 6 hours of old Survivor episodes online.

10. Taking the bus for 240 yen (round-trip) to the station when it's raining outside feels like a splurge.

11. You haven't updated your blog or used Skype in a week because you've had a nasty sinus cold. Instead you just sleep and play Farmville, pretending that's a valid excuse.

12. You expect to take a 2 hour nap at work every day, and are grumpy when you don't get that luxury, even though you slept 9 hours the night before.

13. You've finally stopped referring to 1000 yen as "ten bucks".

14. You can successfully bake cornbread and brownies in a mini-microwave/oven/toaster combo.

15. Your English has completely deteriorated, and you say things like "daijobu" to your stateside friends on the phone.

16. 5 show matinee days are normal, and a 2 show matinee day feels like heaven.

17. You buy half-torso puffy vests and reindeer boots and don't care if anyone judges you for your fashion choices because you know your Japanese friends will just say "KAWAII!"

2009 in Review

Well, seeing as how I'm going to spend the majority of New Year's Eve and Day at the Broadway Music Theatre, very far from the lights of Broadway (and for 14 hours, a decade ahead!), I've decided I'm going to get my year-end list in before 2010 races across the start line.

Side note: When did we leave the decade with no name (the aughts? the zeros?) behind? How did that happen? And is it just me, or is the next decade even weirder to write and envision?

Let's see... Here's what happened in 2009.

January started yet another audition season in New York, during which I spent the first 5 months of the year unemployed collecting a meager $140/week from the state. Countless auditions, Thursday Night Pizza Parties and outings with the bestie ruled my first 6 months as part of Actor's Equity Association.

In February, I set down roots in Astoria and bought furniture as a companion to my 1/3 of the lease, and watched that set-up change drastically by October. But there were countless weekday pancake brunches to cheer up the mood!

March saw many callbacks, and even a few final callbacks that raised expectations of job offers, only to find myself fighting off actor disappointment weeks later when phone calls never came.

April saw a visit from Lauren, me visiting my old town, DC, and a special event at the Bronx Zoo (my first time there!).

May was the month when fresh air blew in on my life and shook everything up! My best friend got engaged, and planned to move to Vegas for 2 years. I travelled home to see my little sister graduate nursing school, one of my proudest moments in recent memory. And best of all, I found out I would not only be working upstate for the summer, but I would then be moving to Japan for 8 months come fall.

In June I took my first East Coast camping trip with friends and found out just how beautiful upstate New York really is. I moved to Auburn to play a high school jock, and found out I had more school spirit for the Wildcats than I ever did for the Cardinals and the Mustangs. Well, maybe not the Mustangs. I lost a family member on my birthday, and re-learned the roughest, toughest lesson of all: That life, and this business will never cut you a break for your personal life.

In July, I ventured across the Canadian border on a whim to ride the Maid of the Mist into Niagara Falls, and I saw a triple feature at my first old-school drive-in movie theatre. I won a shop game of dodgeball on the 4th of July, and prepared myself to move overseas with only a 3 day window between contracts. And at the end of the month, I embarked upon the most life-changing adventure yet: I moved to Japan!

August was a gloriously hot month of adventure, learning a new language, becoming an official alien, embracing a new culture, making Japanese friends, learning 2 brand-new shows, watching the sunrise from the top of Mt. Fuji, traveling all over the Kanto Prefecture, and turning a hopital-like sterilized room into a home.

September brought cooler (and cloudier) weather, typhoons that cancelled trains and shows, an adventure to Japan's Cedar Point, the ONSEN, and great friends from the Diamond Horseshoe.

I returned to rehearsals (for Christmas) in October, spent time exploring the Chiba area around me, caught up with friends on tours from the States, found out that I will once again be an uncle come late March, and began my "bromance" with Evan.

November meant it was time for my first visitor to Japan, the scariest vocal problems I've ever experienced, an exploration into a health care system that puts the patient first (rather than profit), Thanksgiving dinner at 10:30 PM, and my first real Christmas show for the holidays!

And in December, I was blessed to ride my first shinkansen to Hiroshima/Miyajima, "bonzai" the Emperor on his birthday, work on Christmas Day for the first time ever, and use Skype to share the holidays with family and stave off homesickness.

It's been a long year since I returned to New York jobless and penniless. One that has brought many blessings, and also many trials that have fortified my character. Life has changed me this year in probably the most significant ways since I lost my father in 2002. And in a mere 3 months, I once again will be in New York jobless and penniless. Who knows what 2010 will bring?

I hope you enjoyed the ride. I know I have.

BONZAI!

I had hoped last night to tell you all about my adventurous Christmas Eve Eve, but a delivery of measuring cups turned into a 5 hour conversation about the past 5 months. I did manage to make 2 batches of Topher's OISHII cranberry sauce (with thanks to WIlliam-Sonoma), but not a chance to update my blog.

So, let me tell you a little bit about the rest of the Emperor's birthday.

Yes, it was, in fact, a Japanese national holiday yesterday, one a bit more sensical than all the others and every bit as busy. See, there are only 2 days a year the public is allowed to enter the Imperial Palace (without setting up a White House-style free tour in advance); but even better, the Emperor and his family make 3 appearances through the morning on his birthday (December 23rd for the current Emperor) and January 2nd (New Year's greeting).

Now Evan and I had planned for about 2 months to head to see the Emperor yesterday, and see him we did! Despite getting to the palace only 45 minutes before the opened the gates at 9:30, we were surprisingly near the front of the crowd lining up in front of the gates.

I mean, there are more people pounding down the gates at Disneyland at 8:45 in the morning, and I have proof!

Now after a bag search, metal detector by hand, and separate pat down (they are so wonderfully thorough here!), we waited until the opening of the gates in a peaceful organized crowd. I was surprised by the number of gai-jin in the crowd, until I remembered that many more people are able to travel over the holidays.

So we made our way in a crazy procession where no one ran, pushed, or scrambled to the front (for the most part) across the bridges and soon the path opened onto the main plaza of the palace.

Now I'll be honest, for being the "IMPERIAL PALACE" and closed off 363 days of the year, I was expecting something a tad more grandiose in architecture with an exclusive, special feel, yet the palace was quite spectacular and we made our way to our choice of spot for the next 45 minutes (until the royal family appeared). We were so fortunate and directly house center about 15 rows back.

We had somehow missed the passing out of paper Japanese flags to wave (but we got ones after the fact), and we also were in awe of the so-called "right-wing" conservatives there that day. As much as I can glean from my limited knowledge of Japanese politics, they are the faction that are fervent fans of the emperor... and that's about where my knowledge ends.

Nonetheless, it was thrilling to be surrounded by people completely silent and patient for 45 minutes who then went CRAZY when the Emperor appeared. The noise of the flags was deafening and the chants of the masses were awe-inspiring.

Then the Emperor (flanked by his wife, his son, the Crown Prince, and his wife the Crown Princess, as well as his other son and requisite wife) gave a 2-minute birthday speech and the cheers resumed. And then they got to go the green room for their 40 minute break before the next show.

Seriously, I joked with Evan that it would be funny if they got the same calls we did: "Kai-en san-ju pun mae des. Kai-en san-ju pun mae des. This is your thirty minutes call. Thirty minutes before the show to start."

And we discussed whether it would be fun or not to have to do 3 shows on your birthday. Which, by the way, isn't that bad.

I caught some really crazy video of the appearance (shown below), and shortly after that, the show was over, and we joined the crowd moving steadily towards the exits.

And that, my friends, is the story of how I Bonzai'ed the Emperor of Japan with thousands of people watching.

The rest of my glorious day with Evan consisted of meandering through Roppongi and Hiro-o and seeing AMAZING cars (he knows a ton, I know nada), eating delicious Japanese Mexican food at La Jolla

and shopping in the crowded streets of Shibuya. But, as usual, best to brave the crowds on a national holiday here cuz the sales are AWESOME.

I do, however, I have one complaint.

And it's not toward Japan.

Shocking, I know.

Whilst in the international market Azabu in Hiro-o I nearly crawled under a rock and died from reverse culture shock. Seriously.

There was a woman chewing out, and I mean CHEWING OUT, the manager of the store in the middle of the produce section for something to do with ingredient lists or who-knows-what. Which devolved into "How can you not see that I'm unhappy" and "I'm shopping here and this is unacceptable" and other incredibly rude ways to speak to a member of the service industry.
And it got so embarassingly bad, that I made Evan leave and walk to the other side of the store with me so as not to witness this incredibly awkward conversation.

And to that woman, I say WTF? Seriously, what the freak, gai-jin lady? You are chewing out someone in a foreign country in ENGLISH. Someone who has provided an INTERNATIONAL market and foreign goods for your comfort and delight. And you are embarassing your fellow foreigners by making a scene at someone who is providing a service to you. Someone who has learned another language for you. Someone, who, in any country should be treated with respect, but we're talking about JAPAN here where people go out of their way to make you comfortable and feel at home. Above and beyond.

So seriously, lady, WTF? You are the kind of foreigner that gets people hated, glared at, and left on the side of the road in Nikko. And to you, I kindly request, go home and terrorize no one. You obviously do not respect the Japanese enough to live here. No matter what the problem may have been, you had no right to make such a public spectacle in this respectful country.

Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us.

Oh. And we stumbled upon the SCARIEST street performer EVER. One that is not appropriate to post on the internet. And I walked away scarred and scared for life. Japanese people can be kinky and weird. And I never need to see anything like that again!

But, I like I said. I "bonzai"-ed the Emperor. And that's pretty darn cool.

WTF, Japan? Parts 4 and 5

Okay, Japan. What's going on with you?

We've had this beautiful, beautiful warm weather and it's been quite pleasant, and then out of the blue last night, you decided to pelt us with rain, wind, and hail that doesn't even fall under the umbrella of a typhoon. Oh. And it was frakkin' SAMUI too. (That means COLD). So going to the Hub basically felt like braving Antarctica to get a drink.

WTF, Japan?

Are you a) trying to make me sick, b) trying to aggravate me, and/or c) are you just plain baca?

Cuz I'm pretty sure the the temperature dropped a solid 30 degrees in less than 2 hours, and that's just not okay. I know it's November and all, but do you think you could possibly let us wake up a few mornings and feel the crispness of the air before you let full-on winter blow in? I mean, I was wearing shorts to work YESTERDAY because it was so hot. And I wasn't the only one...

So seriously, Japan. Make up your mind. And give me some time to adjust so I don't get the swine!

You did score one victory, though... Blowing out all the smog so it was clear and blue, and then letting me see Fuji-san from the train not once but twice today, well, that was pretty awesome! Especially the part where it was sunset and the sky was orange and purple. Thanks for that one.

But seriously, give a kid some warning!

And while I'm on a rant, what's up with your random national holidays? I get that 20 years ago you realized y'all work too hard and made up a bunch of random days off so the rest of the world wouldn't judge you so harshly... But seriously, Culture Day? WTF does that even mean?

WTF, Japan?

And shouldn't you be doing something "cultural" like going to a museum, or the ballet, or Big Band Beat, or a lecture on Japanese history? Why must you antagonize me on my precious Tuesday off by setting loose the masses when all I want is a quiet breakfast and to run a couple errands?

Because, see, my work schedule doesn't really condone those things, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't keep dumping your national holidays on my off days. There's a reason why I wanted the middle of the week off and not Fri/Sat/Sun.

See, your people don't really have spacial awareness, so I tend to avoid crowds at all costs. Places like the outlet mall, Harajuku, Shibuya, and frankly, just about ANYWHERE are much better during the week when I can avoid being cut-off by clueless Nihon-jin every 5 seconds. Heck, it feels like FROGGER half the time when I'm walking or riding my bike. I feel like at any minute I'm gonna bump into some idiot and get a GAME OVER screen.

So I'm not really appreciating you trumping my mid-week with bogus reasons to let the wild locals out of their work cages.

And speaking of wild locals, when did the adorably kawai (cute) Japanese children turn into monsters? I know you don't celebrate Halloween, so it can't be a sugar high from the loads upon loads of candy from strangers that American children are hyped up on for the next few weeks.

I mean, seriously, was it your goal to have EVERY 4-year old in the Chiba area scream in ears today? Cuz, honestly, I just wanted some peace and quiet after a night out of drinking in your awfully smoky bars.

WTF, Japan? Maybe you should think about rescheduling your national holidays and screaming children around me!

And yes, I'm kidding, but only like 93 percent.

Get it together, dude.

Subways are for Reading

Welcome to the world of Tophs!

This little venture will hopefully turn out to be a wonderful way to keep in touch with my family and friends stateside, and also a little record of the comical and not-so-comical adventures of Tophs in Japan.

Today's anecdote:

I'm stressed. I know I'm going to a country in 2 days that I'm not prepared for, speak next-to-nothing of the language, and am pretty much maintaining a controlled freak out at all times.

So today, I thought, while running my eight-five gajillion errands, that I'd pull out my little Travel book on loan from KV while riding the Never/Rarely/Whenever train into Manhattan. (that's a whole 'nother story about NYC's nearly disastrous fare hike). Anyway, in the ten minutes I felt like reading, apparently the nice woman next to me felt she should read over my shoulder as well! In fact, she politely asked if I was travelling to Japan (yes, ma'am), and I explained I would soon be working for Tokyo Disney. Cut to... Mayumi (sp?) and I had a 2 stop conversation all about our business, because I happened to be reading my Japan guidebook for the FIRST time ever next to an ex-pat from Japan who's been working on the Bway for 10 years. A dancer in my business from Tokyo? Only in New York. Except as my friend ZE pointed out... the fallacy with that statement is that it actually could happen anywhere.

Not really a great anecdote. But day 1 of this baby. Passport in order, printing out 166 photos to make myself feel at home, and basically, minimally, actually, really, nope... humongously freaking out!