5771

I'm not Jewish, but if I was, this new year would not be off to a very good start...

Remember when I failed at Japan (the first time, anyway)?

Yup.  Failed at New York today.  Got on the train, and when I got off, my wallet was no longer on my person.

So instead of dancing with my roomie and friends in a great dance class, I spent the afternoon canceling cards and visiting the police station.  Hopefully Saint Anthony will pull through for me by having a nice Japanese person find and return my wallet...  but then again, it's a Jewish holiday today.  Hmmmm.

It just was one of those cruddy days that keeps getting crappier.  But I guess when hugs are around, it all gets better.  And, I'm not sure if this is possible, but is it almost worse to have to comfort someone and watch them grieve than to be the one grieving?  Because you know the kind of devasting pain she's in, and you just wish you could do something to help it go away?

I don't know, but if I could, I'd hug away the pain of a friend right now.  As hard as I possibly could.

Leave it to Blair, her amazing pumpkin cookies, and a Rosh Hashanah party to add a bright spot to my day.

I know I've been MIA for a while, and there's really no good reason for that.  Oh, there was a wedding in Colorado that was stunningly beautiful, and oh, there were some interesting auditions, and oh, I spent Labor Day in a hidden corner of Central Park, and oh, I'm basically just procrastinating big things like doing my taxes these days, but honestly, I'm just glad fall is around the corner.  It's like I've found me again.

The pumpkin spice latte is back (how long these two years have been since I've tasted you!), the air is finally cooling off every once in a while, and people are returning from summer stock gigs.  The freshmen from the Midwest have arrived at NYU looking green and young and fresh-faced and I don't wanna be the one to tell them all the journeys they'll soon be facing.  I'm so glad I'm not that age anymore.

I guess that's it, isn't it?  Fall is here, the season of change, the reminder that everything has its season, will wither and return like the green of the trees.  With each year we grow wiser and face new challenges and the old ones don't seem so bad in retrospect.  So when a day doesn't go your way, there's always the hope that tomorrow may dawn a little brighter.

A little more yellow.

Happy New Year, everyone.  Let's hope 5771 is a good one.  It can pretty much only go uphill from here, right?

Elections and Challenges

Sometimes, when I least expect it, lying on my bed or checking my e-mail, I hear this crazy mumbled drive-thru speaker sound coming out of my stove. One that's not exactly faint. And, even more disconcerting, it has surprised me a few times as well through the fan in my bathroom when I'm nakey-snakey in the shower.

To the extent that when I heard it the first time I jumped out of the shower and ran around my room saying "Hellooo?!" because I thought there a stranger had broken into my room.

And the second time I jumped out of bed and under the table because I thought, "Maybe this voice is an emergency alert system warning me of an approaching typhoon or earthquake". I mean, it is in Japanese after all. And we have had two of each in the past month.

And by the third time, I wondered where this sound was coming from and poked my head outside only to hear a voice shouting over a megaphone. And apparently, that megaphone is so powerful that it permeates the vents in my shower fan and the hood of my stove... hence why it sometimes scares me at inconveniently random times.

So after a few days of confusion, I finally understood what was happening.

See, it's election time here in Japan, and they do things a little differently. First, there aren't set election times. The emperor (I think, maybe it's the Prime Minister or someone else) dissolves the Parliament/Council/Congress/legislative-body whenever he decides he's had enough of the current administration. Which is pretty cool when you think about it. And then elections are held 6 weeks later. 6 weeks. Can you imagine? What if Obama only had 6 impromptu weeks to campaign for President? That would be simultaneously frightening and wonderful (since 2 years of campaigning is nasty overkill) and even more awesome if he were to have succeeded in spite of that.

Anyway, my point is that when I got here, apparently the high man in charge dissolved the government and now people are running for office. With only 6 weeks to put together a campaign.

Now, I can't tell you much about our candidates here since a) I don't speak Japanese and b) I'm pretty sure I can't vote even though I'm a registered alien; however, that hasn't stopped the campaign from coming after me. Mostly in the form of mumbling voices in my room, but also the occasional flyer distributor at the station.

But in truth, people aren't really allowed to campaign like in the States. They're only allowed to put up posters on designated signs that have been placed around the community, and only then in their designated numbered square. (It took me a while to figure out what those random signs were for around the neighborhood until the pictures started appearing). However, they are allowed to ride around in vehicles with loudspeakers on the top, waving out the side with their campaign managers and speaking over the megaphone. And I don't really understand this.

Especially, because, in case you've forgotten, I don't speak Japanese.

But every day, there they are, riding up and down Symbol Road or platforming at the station spouting off what I'm sure are similar campaign speeches to those we hear in the States. Except 6 weeks ago, they had no idea there was going to be an election. And here they are, running a campaign, and it ends today (I think).

And all I know is, when it comes through the vents in my room, it sounds like a chipmunk is mumbling to me in Japanese to watch out for the impending natural disaster. I mean, how am I supposed to know differently?

In other news...

I have my final dress for BBB in a few hours, which really is also my first dress since yesterday's run-through/block in costume was segmented into sections and more of a tech rehearsal. And today everyone has to be in costume, not just the new guys. And while it has been helpful, it is very surprising (and very un-Japanese) that last night was the first time I've done certain numbers with the other people in them. In addition to costumes, lights, and lifts for the first time. But I can't really be expected to know that I'm supposed to cross downstage of Mickey and the dancers between X and Y on 1 when I've never done that number with the other 15 people onstage before. So I didn't really feel too badly about those kind of notes.

However, I have been feeling very remiss about my performance of "All of Me". It's been a surprisingly difficult hurdle for me to overcome in this process. I know a lot of that is because it's been under-rehearsed (both in rehearsal and at home), but I've been letting a lot of the pressure get to me. Especially when I'm so strikingly different from the other 7 guys I've heard sing the song.

It has been a very similar process to learning the gospel number and most of the pop show from the cruise ship. I'm just basically so far out of my comfort zone and trying to do something new and foreign and not suck, without the guide of a voice coach or someone external and safe with whom I could work on it. Except that on the ship, at least everyone spoke English. And it was so new and so foreign that I felt any effort I gave was an improvement. And I had an amazing friend, Joshua, to coax and guide me through the scary stuff.

Here, I find myself constantly lost. I've been getting conflicting notes from the director (which are, of course, translated, and very literal and therefore that much more confusing). And I'm trying not to take it personally when I get told "you really sound bad and need to work on that" in front of the whole cast. Although I finally got some advice yesterday that encouraged me to act the song and not feel like I have to riff like the black boys, I haven't found the groove of the song yet. Which is also disappointing because singing "All of Me" in a big band style is more familiar than attempting a Gospel solo or singing Michael Jackson classics.

But, I am remaining positive and trying to make it work for me and my style. Which is what they finally encouraged me to do yesterday. To sing it more like me. And I'll get there. I just wish it would happen faster.

And the whole thing I'm trying to remember is that when we are challenged, we grow. The best work is when we have to fight for it. Working out of my comfort zone is helping me. And getting discouraged is the least positive way to come out of this experience. So despite all my doubts and insecurities and fears, I know that when I finally succeed, it will feel so rewarding. And I'll have done something I didn't think I could do before.

Now if I could just get there already!

It's a rainy day here and I just had a delicious lunch at the Indian restaurant in the station. I'm so glad I'm making new friends outside my cast here and Patrick will be a really great addition to my time here in Tokyo. And soon off to my dress! Wish me luck!