There's a pun in that title. At least I think there is. Read on to find out.
I also am getting really excited because I will start the craziness of 6 weeks of visitors in 5 days!!! I just booked our ryokan for Kyoto this evening and now I need to start my research. Oops. Probably should've done that one earlier.
My camera still hasn't been found. Nor my sunglasses. Nor my green fleece in Hiroshima. St. Anthony must not believe in working overtime in a Shinto country. :(
The biggest news of all, though, can be summed up in a song lyric.
Now for those who know me, I NEVER express my feelings on the internet in song lyrics. And even if I did, I wouldn't EVER post a lyric by Stephen Schwartz, because, well, I don't care for his work.
And yet. This is speaking to me today....
Something has changed within me/Something is not the same/
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game/
Too late for second-guessing/too late to go back to sleep/
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap...
I'm not sure what Japan has done to me, but I'm pretty darn sure of what OLC has done to me. The guy who didn't really ever find it necessary to argue for what he wanted has suddenly grown a backbone.
I mean, I've always been willing to stand up when something is blatantly wrong or rude or unfair, but I rarely stand up for what I want, or even deserve. And today, well, today was the final cement in the divo coffin.
It's happening. I'm turning into a diva. Just a bit. In a good way. And to be truthful, I'm loving it.
Because I've stopped being the guy who cain't say no, the one everyone turns to whenever they need a song played, the guy who just wants to keep the peace. And all it took for me to get there was a job where no one has my back, no one has my interests at stake, and no one's fighting for me to step up and say no.
Like today. A co-worker has badly mistreated me for four months by choosing not to acknowledge my presence. Which I find even more offensive than if he/she were to be rude to my face and or problematic. But to blatantly ignore someone is not only rude, it's discourteous and unprofessional.
And so, today, when my co-worker decided, after pretending I was Casper the Friendly Ghost for months on end, decided to berate me for requesting something relatively minor, I stood up for myself and what I felt was necessary. The diva came out; I would not allow someone to abuse my person when he/she has pretended like I don't exist until now.
Could this reflect poorly on me? Absolutely. Was this action called for? Maybe not. Will I apologize? Probably.
But one thing is certain. I stood my ground, and I'm damn well proud of that. Tokyo has taught me a few things, and one of those is a staunch belief in my self-worth. Anything less than that won't be tolerated.
Just so you know.
