E-Vil Zoo

So I mentioned that I adventured to Costco last week, but if you aren't caught up and don't know that, well now you do.

What I didn't mention is that Michael and I are geniuses. And rockstars.

Maybe a combination of both? Rockiuses? Genistars!?

Anyway, we stumbled upon the most adorable blankets ever. And we didn't really care if they were for grown men or not.

In fact, we like them so much we tried to figure out how to justify buying 5 of them for everyone in our dressing room, since we really got inspired when we saw the blue bear and realized it was PERFECT for Adam's birthday.

And despite our debates and reservations, we got them all. And boy do we rock.

See, we gave one to Chris for some comfort while he was home sick this week (good thinking). Yet sadly, he's not pictured as his adorable little ducky self. I haven't even seen it, to be honest.

But the coup de grace was surprising Adam at midnight for his birthday last night, fully decked out in ours and surprising him with his!

I may have honestly taken the character impersonation too far. But heck, I can't help it if I'm KAWAI (cute!) in my outfit.

I may have even donned Michael's hungry hungry hippo (remember that amazing game?) and re-enacted my animal study from Alexander Technique. See, we were assigned animals whose nature is the opposite of our own, and I studied hippos at the zoo for about 2 hours one day. Then I had to go into class and move and make the sound of a hippo and occupy the physical space of one with my body. If I might say so myself, it was some of my best class work.

Last night's embodiment wasn't quite as stellar.

Yet Adam was so thrilled he decided his bear would be a gangster!

And here you can see the E-Village zoo come to life. If only our ducky could have completed the dressing room birthday party!

So it was quite the happy birthday to Adam, but the most pertinent observation to note is that I am having so much FUN with my dressing roommates.

And for the first time in my life, I'm think I'm closer with a far larger majority of boys than girls on this contract. In fact, one might suspect it's Boys vs. Girls around the BBB, even though it's not. It just happens to be that the girls keep to themselves and really own their space, and we do so as well.

And now we have the animal cuddlies to prove it!

Snuggie, eat your heart out!

Sourpuss

I have every intention on blogging the utter MAGIC that is Tokyo Disneyland from Wednesday, but I think I'm going to save it for tomorrow while I'm A-shifted at work again.

Which, by the way, is LONG OVERDUE.

I've had 2 5-show days in a row (though they were split up by my days off) and 3 B-shifts in a row the three days before. So to prove my point, it's been a week since I only had to do the first 2 shows and I am definitely looking forward to it.

See, I really hoped today would be a wonderful day going back to the grind, but I think I just woke up on half of the wrong side of the bed today.

First, I wasn't too pleased when the sidewalk I have to bike down to get to the station was impenetrably difficult to navigate today. I think the university was back from summer vacation today and the college kids were a literal wall on the way to work. I really hope it was a one-day deal, because I'm not ready to fight those rude kids every day on the way to work.

And now I completely understand Cathy and other Bostonian's complaints about the 1st of September when the college kids return to town in one big swarm.

Secondly, and this was the big kicker, I got a whole lotta flack today for politely and pre-emptively addressing the fact that there now is a set of speakers in our dressing room. When I mentioned that I, in general, really don't enjoy music in the dressing room because 9 times out of 10, music is playing that either a) I don't want to listen to at a volume I'm not comfortable with, or b) prohibits me from quietly sleeping or reading a book, I was met with a rather large level of disdain.

Which, I understand. People love their music.

The problem is... I don't. Sometimes I don't even love my music.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't like TV as background noise, who mutes the TV when commercials come on (except when I'm home with DVR and can fast forward!), and who doesn't really jam to music at home unless he is cleaning, in a very specific mood, or getting ready to go out. The most-played track in my iTunes probably has been played a grand total of 10 times, and I rarely use my iPod except to block out noise or for something to do on the train (which is also rare in and of itself).

I'm just weird. I don't often listen to music.

And it's not because I don't love music...

I just personally don't need a soundtrack to my life.

I love peace. And quiet. And silence.

I think this stems from two things. One, music is my career and my hobby, and I spend so much time performing and listening and learning music that when I get to relax, I choose to relax in other ways. And two, my father was a very particular man who enjoyed music very thoroughly, so much so, that he had a rule when we were on road trips. We could listen to music, or we could talk. But if he turned on music, and we started talking and goofing off, he would turn off the music.

And I love him for that. Because it established the enjoyment of actively listening to music.

Music is less enjoyable when it's background music and everyone's talking over it. And music is something I appreciate, not just something that's always on.

And music is so personal and individual. You love certain songs and albums for different reasons and the way they make you feel, yet we all tend to feel differently every day and have different tastes.

So I'm weird. And I know it. And I can compromise on many things in a dressing room of 5 boys. We've already worked together in regards to humidifiers and air purifiers and turning off the fluorescent lights and the air conditioning and movies and the futon clean up and Phase 10.

So I just wasn't really ready to find myself fighting a battle for the use of headphones. Which frankly, in my opinion, benefits everyone, because each person has his own choice what to listen to, be it music, conversation, or just maybe some peace and quiet. I had no intention of outlawing music altogether, but unfortunately, I fear my concerns were misunderstood and a compromise was not in the works.

Thirdly, I was so unsettled today that yoga was a complete disaster. I made it through our sun salutations relatively okay, but after that my clear lack of focus and center and strength made itself very apparent. I couldn't properly do any pose, and the deep breathing I had started to attain unearthed a well of anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness, and many other things that I was burying. And unfortunately, hard as I tried to breathe through it, the tears came and I was barely able to make it through the rest of class because I just wanted to give up.

Which does bring up the interesting point that yoga is a discipline that literally is different every time I do it. No matter what I think I might feel through class, inevitably my body surprises me; sometimes good, sometimes bad.

But today it was bad and only deepened my sourpuss, especially because I was emotional until about our 5 minutes call for the second show.

Which led to fourthly, the fact that I dug deep and gave you a "Disney smile" today, but my performance was really a lot of work and not genuine. I've been so proud that every show I've done so far has really been with a genuine smile on my face because I'm enjoying the show and my journey, but today I really had to fake it. Which after experiencing the magic yesterday, just upset me because I know that the audience could sense something wasn't quite right, even if they didn't know what. I just didn't want to ruin the magic for all our guests.

But I made it through the first two shows, and as any true American would do, ate my feelings at lunch with fried chicken and fries and ice cream.

Which, oddly, always makes me feel better. Even if I regret the choice to eat poorly later, it does help heal the heart at the moment.

It's a good thing I'm skinny.

And so the day got a lot better. I napped after lunch, finished my book, and just chose to enjoy my day as much as I could. And after work, Destiny and I had a wonderful get-to-know-you-better dinner at the sushi restaurant which delightfully filled my tummy and satisfied my tastebuds.

And then I added another collage of pictures to my wall. Which means I only have one left to do.

So I'm feeling much better and going to bed on the right side of it hoping tomorrow is a bit cheerier with only 2 shows on the horizon.

And the high-tops had a GREAT debut t0day too!

Some Stuff I Have Laying Around

So since I'm going out tonight and I surely won't be blogging about that until I've survived the 5 shows immediately following it...

and since I happen to have nothing to do in the dressing room, and since I finally got my camera back from K's...

I have some pictures to share that were still on my now refurbished camera.

To start, although you might think a men's dressing room would seem rather tame and sane, things like this tend to happen on a daily basis.

Yes... that is what it seems.

We seriously have that much time on our hands...

Time to pluck each other's eyebrows.

Wow.

And to finish, my day in Odaiba (refresh your memory here) wasn't a TOTAL waste since I got to see a familiar face.

Though I'm not exactly sure why she's facing the WRONG WAY.

Inland, by the way, if you've never been or don't really remember. Of course, she's also on her own island so I guess she can't really face anywhere but out to sea in the States, but trust, if she were backwards in the Hudson she'd be facing New Jersey.

Which just seems like a really backwards idea.

And of course I found some more wonderful Japanglish.

And I got to see the crazy Fuji TV building...

(Please note the delicious Kua'aina in the foreground that was the highlight of my day)

and the beautiful skyline of Rainbow Bridge and Tokyo.

Which wasn't really beautiful to me until I rode over Rainbow Bridge on the way to Fuji-Q. If only I had pics of that...

I have saved the best pic for last (of course). The pic that is an adamant reminder to remember that even though big girls don't cry, Big Polar Bears DO!

And, as the Japanese have encouraged us with their sidewalk painting skills, we should probably stop them crying. Which I'm guessing means curb global warming.

Sadly, I just thought they were really cute.

Oh. And by the way. About the same size as the Lady Liberty knockoff.

And there ends the photo updates.

Yoga Life

So I'm not really sure what's happened.

I'm not a yogi. I never have been.

I mean, I have drank a few cups of delicious Yogi Vanilla Hazelnut Tea in my day, done a few downward dogs in college, and taken bikram once and MT's first class as a teacher.

But I'm not really what you'd call a yogi.

And yet, since I have so many hours to kill at work, I've been alternating yoga and ballet during the first show break and abs class during the last show break every day.

And it's been incredible to get back into the swing of barre every other day, and I'm starting to build some overdue strength in my core.

But something about doing yoga during the first break really hit home for me today...

It's blowing my mind how great I'm feeling both during and especially after class. That second show is like this amazing zen experience. After finding my breath and stretching further and further through breath, I feel like a new person. And then, on days I'm A-shift, it's hard to believe my day is already over. I feel like I could easily do 3 more shows.

I just feel so centered and relaxed and good.

So I guess I'm finally starting to understand why people are obsessed wtih yoga. Cuz once you get into the swing of it, it really is like any other form of exercise in that it makes you feel so good, but it also has this wonderful way of centering you physically and spiritually.

And today Macchie-san and Beck gave me some really wonderful notes, and also made me feel so wonderful that my lotus is already so open and stretched. They even made me put my leg behind my head, and I pretty much did it... which I haven't done in years!

So I think I'm gonna keep it up. And add yoga to my repertoire of classes that inspire and keep me sane. And spend one day turned in, and one day turned out in ballet.

Like bestie says... don't feel good? Go to class.

In my own little corner...

...on my own little futon thingy...

Yes, I'm quoting and bastardizing Rodgers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" (or Cindy as she is wont to be known here in the land of the mouse) because, for some blessed reason, the men's dressing room hasn't been Grand Central station the past few days.

(Side note: I remember growing up that my dad would randomly answer the phone "Grand Central Station" when the phone was ringing off the hook. Basically an ironic way of saying our house was busy. But, of course, because I was a kid, the name "Grand Central Station" had a mystical aura about it in my head since I'd never even seen a picture of the place. And now that I've been to the real one in NY... well, it's just so disjointed in my mind... trying to merge the disparate natures of my imagination and reality. But back to the blog...)

And I'm delighted by this fact, because it has allowed me some wonderful time to read, nap, sleep, and write on my computer. And because I love the dichotomy of both a fun, upbeat atmosphere of laughter in the dressing room, but also the peace and quiet a haven atmosphere begets.

I'm pretty convinced, though, that some of this blessed quiet is still stemming from the fact that, for whatever reason, some of my cast and I aren't meshing well.

And rather than be down on myself, like I was on Wednesday, because the sun refused to shine on my days off and because I was homesick and lonely, I've decided to look at the positives. Like my own little corner of the futon in our dressing room that I settle into when I'm shifted.

Like the incredible friends I've been making around E-village and the impromptu conversations I have with all the familiar faces I'm starting to know so well.

Because, at the end of this week, I can look back and see how much I've been working on myself. On acknowledging my weaknesses and trying to better them. At listening more (you're still trying to teach me that lesson, aren't you, Dad?), at speaking less, at embracing the work environment I have to live in.

And as long as I'm amiably attempting to better myself and the situation, that's really all I can do, right?

And the best blessing in disguise is that through this I have started to form some really strong friendships in Japan with really wonderful people... and I can't wait to share more of my time here with them!

Blessings and Challenges

So I'm literally sitting on the sea wall of Tokyo Bay at midnight after a long day of work, 3 blocks from my apartment whilst staring out at the beautiful lights of Chiba and Tokyo twinkling in the distance in a perfect arc around me. There's a cool ocean breeze and I've got a Peach Chu-hi in hand.

It's moments like this when I get to sit down and reflect and indulge in this incredible blessing that is my life here in Japan that make me so happy I've chosen this path in life.
Cuz let me tell you, some parts of it are not so much fun.

Like audition season in the middle of New York winter pounding the pavement every day in the freezing cold.

Or paying your dues mowing lawns and painting fences for 100 bucks a week at a summer stock.

Or unemployment for 7 1/2 months in the middle of a recession. Especially on an actor's minimal wages.

I feel like I'm making a fortune and someone's paying me it to live in Japan. How crazy is that?! And yet, I'm still wise as to live on a tight budget (sans travel, food, fashion experiences I couldn't have in the States) so I can fund the next unemployment stretch in the unknown future.
But right now, I'm just relishing the glory of a September evening on the sea wall with my computer and my bike and my peach chu-hi..

It's been a long week of rehearsals and debuts and it's finally over, at least until Christmas rehearsals start. I have the day off tomorrow, and I'm gonna spend some time alone to try to find some answers to a few of my troubles here.

See, for some strange reason, I've gotten off on the wrong foot with a couple of BBB people. And granted, now that we're through tech and into the run of things, everyone's stress level and breaking points should lower and things should run more smoothly. However, I really don't want my cast mates to spend the next 7 months disliking, despising or avoiding me. Even if I am aware that I will get along better with some people than others.

And yet, I feel in some way that the reason I'm not so well-liked is the same reason I am by other people. I am so aware of the blessing that is this job and the INCREDIBLE work the Japanese people do. I mean, seriously, compared to their work schedule and work demands, my job is a piece of cake and I'm being treated like a prince.

Much like on the ship, I have worked very hard in my field to get where I am and aware of both my talent, skill level, training, and experience that are required for this job and therefore deserve the compensation that has been sought after and contracted. And as a working professional who has seen a few contracts and experienced many different companies through the years, I am really enjoying and relishing both the work and benefits of this experience.

Yet I have also come to expect and desire certain standards of etiquette and professionalism over the years, that I believe fall within the normal standards of day-to-day work at BBB (or any theatre, really).

I believe it is a common courtesy to always knock on a dressing room door that does not belong to you, no matter how long you've been working with the people inside, who your friends are, or how often you visit. Someone could be changing at any moment and they deserve the privacy and respect that comes with the existence of a doorway. Especially when it is a shared dressing room. Would you just barge into your mother's bedroom if the door was closed? I think not.

In addition the privileges and amenities provided to each dressing room are intended for the comfort and use of its occupants. The free-for-all mentality exists in the green room. While one is more than welcome to share the amenities of another's dressing room through invitation or private query, simply assuming one has the right to barge in and take over said privileges without asking is plainly rude. Again, would you walk into your grandma's house and sit in her favorite chair and change the channel on the TV and pump the volume without politely asking permission? I think not.

Rules and rehearsal guidelines are set for the safety and comfort of everyone involved, especially here in Japan because there is the added difficulty of a language barrier. Choosing to ignore and or break said courtesy rules is disrespectful in any situation, even more so when you are the guest of a foreign country. Do you still expect people to drive on the right-hand side of the road in the States and follow posted traffic laws no matter how they drive at home? I surely hope so.

Finally, undermining authority by complaining and creating a microcosm culture of negativity is shameful when one is a foreigner in such an overwhelmingly welcoming country. Choosing to create larger a divide than the one that already inherently exists, rather than taking the opportunity to bridge the culture barrier and extend boundaries merely confirms the stereotype that Westerners are rude and selfish. Do you like it when you see people on the subway in New York that don't speak any English and then you find out they've been in the States for 20 years on a work visa? I think not.

A little courtesy goes a long way. Which is why I have chosen to hold my tongue as best I can and keeps these thoughts to myself (sans this blog of course). And I'm aware that maybe I need to cut people a little more slack and give them time to adjust to new faces and situations.

But I really do hope we can all get along, because I 100% do not believe that I am a divo or a difficult person to work with. Most of my former cast mates, friends, and the Japanese would concur. Do I hold people to high standards? Absolutely. Have I been gracious and therefore attempting to lower some of my standards to more attainable levels? Absolutely.

So I hope we can meet in the middle and start having FUN.

And now I'm done enjoying my evening on the bay and it's time to head home!

Cleaning Frenzy

Guys are dirty.

Or at least the men who formerly occupied my dressing room are.

Because, wow! That place is FILTHY. And so, during the first show of the day, I found myself scrubbing down the dressing room. Lockers, walls, TVs, the refrigerator, the shelves next to the sink, and all the mirrors.

And the microwave.

That thing was DISGUSTING. I mean it literally looked like there had been an explosion in there, and that was before I decided to look inside and up to the roof of it. It literally looks like someone projectile-vomited on it and then left it for 6 months so a tropical micro-ecosystem could grow in there. Upside down.

And see, there's this thing about me that my bestie knows better than anyone else. I'm kind of lazy when it comes to cleaning. I don't really like a weekly system, and yet I despise having dirty dishes in the sink overnight.

But when I move into somewhere new...

And it's filthy...

You better believe this motivated, driven, cleaning woman comes out in me and I bust out a bucket o' elbow grease. I mean, I scrub and scrub and scrub until even the walls are shining.
Especially today, courtesy of Shiloh's dozo Lysol wipes. Thanks, girl!

But I go crazy. No lie. When I moved into the ship, I was mortified at the smoke stains on the walls since the former occupant had clearly smoked in there, and I full on snuck Lysol wipes onto the ship past security and scrubbed the walls DOWN. Till they were sparkling.

And I did the same when I moved into the Newtown apartment. Bestie literally said to me that I had accomplished more in one day than anyone had in the two years she lived in that apartment. Because I literally had a spring cleaning garage sale of garbage with the 800 spices, 85 blenders, and mold-growing leftovers from years and years of sublets leaving stuff behind.

But when it comes to cleaning the shower?

Yeah. I just can't manage to do it on a regular schedule until there's a gross water/dirt stain in the tub.

But you'd better believe that cleaning Nazi comes out 6 weeks later when that stain appears and my tub is a sparklin' again.