Today's WTF... Tamago.
I don't get it, Japan. Why do you love soft-boiled eggs SO MUCH? I get the seafood obsession. Heck, I even understand octopus cookie, even if I don't think I'll be trying it. I even understand seaweed-flavored chips and those nasty beans you call minonato.
But why, whyever so, is it necessary to put a soft-boiled egg on top of EVERYTHING? Noodles, rice, spaghetti, salad... everything. Majide, ne? You've even got the Tamago Big Mac special at McDonald's right now... Really? Egg on top of a hamburger? WTF?
I don't really understand your obsession and that's probably because of my complete and utter aversion to nearly anything egg. See, when I was little, I used to love eggs. I mean, LOVE THEM. But my mom thinks that somewhere around 3 I got really sick and had eggs, because ever since then, everything in my body just screams "NO" at the sight and smell of an egg white. Somewhere down the line, I managed to learn how to survive scrambled eggs and omelettes, but that was after many years of forcing my mom to scramble in ham and peppers and avoiding the nasty white bits.
Heck, the poor woman would save the heels of every bread loaf so she could use it when she made my french toast so it wasn't too eggy. And I'd still complain if there were any white bits and have to cut around them or gag. And once, when my mother was boiling an egg for "Humpty Dumpty" day in Kindergarten, I (NO LIE) had to run straight to the laundry room and throw up. From the smell of an egg boiling.
I mean, even on Sundays, my parents would come home from church, feed us breakfast, and then send me up to my room away from the kitchen so they could have fried eggs and I wouldn't vomit. It's only been in the past few years that I've been able to sit across the table from someone eating fried eggs and not wanna retch. But watching you mix a soft boiled egg into your spaghetti is just nasty and the final test for which I find myself unprepared.
I mean, I've boiled and colored eggs my whole life for easter and NEVER EVER tried a hard-boiled one. And they're my sister's favorite food, second only to Jello! Sometimes, I won't even eat my grandma's delicious potato salad because it has deviled eggs on top and the white parts mixed in. Which sucks cuz I LOVE potato salad. And I hate seeing the look on Grandma's face that I don't like it!
I guess maybe I was just a problem child when it came to eggs. And finger painting. Seriously. I failed kindergarten finger painting because I couldn't stand the thought of dirtying my hands. It felt so gross! And I cried when my mother left me the whole first day of first grade. I guess I probably was (and still am) a good old-fashioned momma's boy. I remember, too, that I was so scared of the other kindergarten teacher who took us for computer classes that I would stay with Ms. Baumgardt and get story time with the other class. What a wimp.
But back to your egg obsession. It really isn't helping me here that everytime I sit down to a restaurant I have to give you the universal X sign and say repeatedly, "NO Tamago". Because if I forget, like I did at the Asahi brewery, my delicious shrimp au gratin loaf will be completely ruined by the soft-boiled egg baked into the middle of it. Why? Why? And if, by chance, it gets cracked and the yolk runs out, forget it. 1000 yen down the drain.
So I beg of you. Is there anyway you could just maybe have a soft-boiled egg shortage for the 9 months I am here? Cuz seriously, WTF? That's just bizarre.
