The Part That Used To Be My Heart

Japan has ruined me. Either that or the honeymoon is over.

Or maybe I was just overdue to get so mad that I cried.

Whatever.

I have become an unhappy and miserable person who has been unable to be kind and generous to other people in the past two weeks. And I'm NOT pleased by that.

Thank God I sing a song called "All of Me" that has an entire finale/riff/free section where I get to do whatever I want with the lyrics "You took the part that used to be my heart, so why not take all of me?"

Because this actor needed some therapy today and decided to take it out on an unsuspecting crowd of 1489 Japanese people.

And the best part is, I was completely justified (especially as an actor) in my choices and cannot be given a legitimate note, even if they were actually brave enough to do so.

And damn, it felt good.

The ironic thing is, despite all the conversations, negotiations, arguments, and fights that have happened in the past two weeks, it wasn't until I was so mad that I was crying and visibly upset during sound check that the Japanese suddenly were worried about me. I could sing Big Band beat 15 shows a day and they wouldn't care, unless tears or steam started coming out of my head.

Nonetheless, I am a professional and did my show with full energy and a Disney smile. Until I pointed at the booth and accusatorily shouted "YOU" at the top of the coda.

Yet, as I said before, I was merely making a STRONG acting choice that is justified by the music and the lyrics and the direction, the latter of which there was none.

So.

Now I feel better. And I'm thrilled by that prospect.

Because I always see the big picture and I always see the long-term reasoning behind daily actions. Which, in this case, caused me to lose my brain, lose my shit, and be miserable for about 2 weeks.

And now, though not perfect, I feel better. Which is a necessity since I'm going on vacation in 2 DAYS! And I surely don't want to be constantly analyzing the pit of destruction that is our current work schedule.

So I'm going to attempt to just suck it up and deal with it. Not that that worked for the last 5 months (clearly). But I don't really have a lot of other options.

I've called bullshit. I've cried. I've tried to reason with unreasonable people in every way I can. I can see the solution, but I can't change other people. So in the end, I can't win.

But I surely can take out my aggression onstage.

Thank God for motivation.

WTF, Japan Part 6

While today in actuality was a rather fine day, it happened to be one of those days where nothing seemed to go my way.

First, I found out that I'm still jinxed in my attempts to go to karaoke, as I cannot join Evan and his parents tomorrow night because I have to attend rehearsal.

Then, I found out Ugly Betty was cancelled. Which is just a disappointing day for my inner couch potato.

The cloudy day and hint of rain didn't really bother me, since today's high was nearly 60 degrees... are we sure it's January? Though the humidity creeping back into the air wasn't a welcome sign...

At work, the proverbial cow poo hit the fan.

There was a lot of tension from the moment I walked in, but the real culprit today was this Valentine's Show Schedule from hell. I get it. It's hard for them. They wanna put up a show for as little money as possible, but I have one gripe.

I'm not your puppet, OLC. This ain't Pinocchio. I'm a real boy, darnit.

See, all 5 of us signed 5 show/9 hour day contracts. We're all here to perform in Big Band Beat. And you, up till now, have been (pretty much) fair about scheduling us as such, paying us as such, and maintaining a decent schedule.

But see, there's this little problem when you decide half of us are going to do a special event and get paid a crap-ton of overtime, while the other half get NADA.

And it becomes a BIG problem when you decide that the special event people shouldn't have to hold their own weight and do their fair share of the regular pay job. They should just do less shows and get paid more money.

You define these as two different shows. And you want them both to be good so you're worried about people's health. But that's not MY problem. I should not have to switch my days off because you don't wanna pay people overtime. And I DEFINITELY should not be picking up the slack and doing extra shows and all day performances for people who are making THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS MORE THAN ME.

If you're so worried about our health, cast an understudy (and actually teach him the show), pull them out of regular Big Band Beat for two weeks, or just leave the schedule as is and pay them the pocket change out of your coffers. I'm sure it'll really break the bank what with the 7 hour lines to buy Duffy's new girlfriend bear. Really. You're definitely hurting for revenue and the gai-jin are bleeding you dry.

But don't, DON'T play double standard with me and try to schedule us like we work one show when they are considered two separate shows and paid as such.

WTF, Japan? WTF?

I thought you might be the ONE contract of my life where the producers didn't pull stunts, but I forgot the one rule of capitalism and show BUSINESS... money rules all and ain't nobody gonna give a crap about what you deserve. You're in it for yourself.

Which is why this contract has been good for me. It's taught me to step up and ask for and/or demand what I want. And while I'm not always successful, at least the Japanese now know they can't pull one over on me.

The funny thing is... if they'd just explain and ask me nicely or grow a pair, invoke the terms of my contract, and tell me I HAVE to do something or they'll cut my pay... well then I might shut up and agree.

But until then, I ain't nobody's singing Pinocchio. Until you pay us equally, I ain't doing anyone else's work. Not anymore.

Down Under in the Far East

G'day mate! Happy Australia Day!

Here's a query for you... where's the best possible place to celebrate Australia Day? Okay. Maybe not best possible. But how about surprisingly amazing?

That's right, folks. In Roppongi at an Aussie bar with a bunch of Aussie ex-pats wishing they were at home.

I mean, I kinda feel bad for England. We've got Independence Day... the French have Bastille Day... Canada Day, ANZAC day, Cinco de Mayo, St. Patrick's Day, Oktoberfest... the list goes on.

What day is special to Brits? Harry Potter Day?

Anyway, I invited myself along/crashed the One Man's party all you can drink and eat party since Evan happened to mention it on Monday night and it was my day off Tuesday and I was already intending to be in Shibuya. I went shopping and spent altogether too much money on stuff I don't need, but then, that's what Shibuya's for, right?

Speaking of Shibuya. How about this?

I nearly fell over in the street. I'm SURE I shouted, and I definitely turned around, followed this girl, and tried to discreetly catch her sweatshirt on film.

I KNOW that's a sweatshirt from my high school. I KNOW it. I can't prove it, but one can only see the same Blue and White with a Mustang emblem and the word Taylor in that font for 3 years before it's imprinted in their brain forever. I wish I had thought to ask her where she got it, because my guess is it's just from some random secondhand vintage shop in Harajuku and she paid 80 bucks for it not knowing or caring what it said. BUT HOW DID IT GET TO JAPAN for some short girl to claim she's a mustang wrestler?

Ah. The small world in which we live.

Whatever. I definitely had goosebumps walking down the street flipping OUT for about 15 minutes.

And then, later, I realized why the Japanese have such bad teeth!

When you advertise like this, no WONDER no one gets corrective dental care. Why would you, when Dental Labor is not just gross, but DOUBLE gross?

Back to the Aussies. So I show up, not realizing, that DUH, unlike the BBB stage which is an American-style show in the AMERICAN section of the park and therefore has quite a large majority of Americans, 80% of the ShowBase cast is Australian. They're cheaper, closer, and less problematic to hire from a Japanese perspective (except for the fact that they can party like rockstars every night, which actually is culturally acceptable here, so that point is moot).

And the temporary flag tattoos came out and the drinks started flowing!

After that, much of the evening is a blur, but I do remember Evan and I somehow wandering the streets near Hatchobori station, because we somehow exited the wrong end of the tracks and had no idea how to get to the familiar section of the transfer. Luckily a nice train attendant and/or police man told us how to walk the couple blocks above ground, and SUPER luckily, it worked.

I learned that every Aussie around the world is glued to their government run radio station to see what song will be voted #1 after every person in the country votes since the first of the year. Sounds like People's Choice Awards, only something people actually care about!

I also know that I was good about sticking to one drink for the evening, only lowering my guard to do one shot from some other awesome Aussies at one point, and making sure that I had at least ONE Aussie beer (even if it was cruddy XXXX) before the evening was over.

I'm pretty sure we were loud and stumbly and crazy (which I despise whilst sober) though I have no idea, because I was trying to be quiet and polite on the train. One just never knows how well that's working...

And for some strange reason, the guy next to Evan had a black laptop bag with a marie claire label. Which just bothered me. I'm pretty sure I mentioned it a few times since I still remember it today...

But we got home safely, quite early in fact (10 PM), and I was out by midnight getting ready for my trip to Hakone today.

Too bad I woke up at 5 AM. And felt fine.

Until I had to ride the overheated, overcrowded commuter trains to Shinjuku at 7:45 AM and wanted to die. Thank god for McDonald's, orange juice, and sleeping on the train to Hakone t0 get rid of heartburn and the shakes.

And that, my friends, is the way to celebrate Australia Day like a American-Japanese Aussie!

Back to the Studio

So let's start with recording this week...

Basically, I'm not cast in the Valentine's show, but the Japanese are worried about covering their bases this year, and so I was recruited to be Adam's "understudy". I use air quotes quite literally here, because usually in my experience, understudies observe rehearsal, take notes, and are officially put on the schedule and cast breakdowns.

An "understudy", on the other hand, is given music and told he will be recording that 10 days down the road without any rehearsal or instruction besides a copy of the sheet music and last year's CD. He is NOT taught the music or given the backing tracks he will be singing a long to or invited to any rehearsals.

Until the last minute, when his presence is requested at a couple final dress rehearsals which amount to basically observing the final product of the show.

Now, I might sound like I'm being passive aggressive, but I'm really not. I get it. They want me to be ready in case of an emergency but they don't want to pay me. And the Japanese only have 2 modes of preparedness: INSANELY over-rehearsed or INSANELY under-rehearsed. You don't get any other options.

Luckily, I've been here long enough to know how things work, so I practiced and prepared as best I could for the recording session, since I would be expected to sound perfect and be perfect.

With no rehearsal, direction, guidance, or one of the selections I would be recording.

But I'm a rockstar.

I had a GREAT recording session with our head music director for most of our shows. He works closely with our director, but she had to head back to the theatre for the rehearsal, which as I'll remind you, I'm not requested to be present at.

Now our music director has a ridiculously good ear that can discern a slightly out of tune attack, or a tired voice that is singing the right pitch but not in the direct center of it. It was amazing. Seriously, I mean, I know I was getting tired after singing the same octave jump on a "oh" vowel for about 30 minutes, but he was insistent! And I LOVED it, because it was that inspiring mentor sort of insistency where you just want to do it right because you know how happy it'll make both of you.

So I recorded my songs. Most of which was relatively uneventful. There was the big solo right before the finale that I didn't know was a solo (since both the recording and the music do not indicate as much) and was singing in absolutely the wrong way (trying to blend in with the track) until "Mike" clarified the situation. Again, an instance where even one rehearsal with a translator would have helped heaps!

Oh. Meanwhile, didn't I mention that our music director speaks very little English and I speak very little Japanese yet we never really had any lost in translation moments the whole hour and a half? I'm obsessed with the way we work together... A man with vision and a worker who wants to be perfect. NICE.

But I'm delaying the good stuff... back to the "oh" vowel. See, I was singing the "Heigh Ho's" section for the dwarves. They were having the 4 guys all record it in the studio to have new voices for them this year. Now, this is about to sound crazy coming from a tall, skinny, gangly man, but I have played both a dwarf and the smallest man in the world onstage.

Yes. It's true.

And not as a joke, either!

My first "real" mainstage show was at 7 as Sneezy in "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" and my chin was so narrow that even with the spirit gum my beard would fall off half the time! HA! But the director told my mother she was always impressed that I stayed in character and was so professional at 7.

They start 'em early in the mountains.

And then, 2 or 3 years after that, I played Tom Thumb in "Barnum" and sang a wonderful boy soprano version of "Bigger Isn't Better" while two high school guys danced around me on stilts and lifted all dangling-by-the-arms 65 pounds of me up with two broomsticks held between them.

And yes, there're photos and videos of these crucial, crucial moments in my life.

So I kind of felt like I was 7 again and they asked me to record "Heigh Ho". And not just 1 time. I had to sing the main line, and then all 3 harmony backup lines. Which then have to be recorded twice so that you get a natural double effect.

There was this point when I was literally singing along with 5 of myself, harmonizing this kick ass minor chord modulation and I was GID-DEE!

Seriously, I tried to do that when I was 8 (yes, now we have all established why I was such a loser of a kid) with my tape deck at home. I naively thought that you could sing into a tape, rewind, sing a different part and record it again, and then you'd have a recording of yourself singing with yourself.

Again. Naive.

But then it got better still when they asked me to record the two Prince Charming lines in Cinderella's "So This Is Love". I mean, it's about 8 notes, but I was pretty stoked that they asked me to record this and people will be hearing it live every night, unlike this sick track I'm basically recording for my health. Also, the part fits perfectly in my range.

No, I'm not always this vain.

And the music director turns to me and says, "You sound like a Prince! You are a prince!" And I realize he means a Disney prince. Which is pretty much the coolest compliment ever (in my book).

And then when I got to rehearsal and heard the final versions of both sections being played over the speakers I got giddy with excitement. I've never been the voice of someone before. And now, someone is literally lip-synching to ME! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

So yeah. I'm the voice of Prince Charming.

But SHHHH. It's a secret. Disney Magic. ;)

Sumo, Ghibli Style

So if yesterday wasn't inspirational enough, today had to go and up the ante.

I went to the Ghibli Anime Studio Museum today, and I was blown away by how inspiring and artistic the place was.

The building is quite large, though in actuality there aren't a lot of exhibit rooms. But the small are surely mighty in Mikata. There're your requisite Japanese characters that all women scream "KAWAI" over...

...like Totoru and Kurosuke here. There's also the amazing Iron Giant from the Castle in the Sky on the rooftop garden, accessible only by an awesome circular staircase enclosed inside a cage with vines ascending the sides.

And of course there are the random unexplainable parts of the musem that make it feel at times more like an interactive children's museum, but they only add to the magic. Like the face drain in the star here:

But unfortunately, I can't show you the most amazing parts of the museum as there are no pictures allowed inside the exhibits.

On the first floor, there's an incredible room that has all sorts of moving exhibits showing the magic of animation. There's a giant spindle about 4 feet in diameter and 2 feet tall that has a whole tree of life of animation, and it stops every minute or so to show you that it's just a really fast, really phenomenally lit carousel that tricks your eye.

There are projectors, hands-on displays, and many familiar Yamasaki characters to make you feel right at home... even if you've only seen one movie (like me).

On the second floor, there's a rotating exhibit that today had all sorts of cels and production work from Ponyo, the newest studio film that came out here last May. After seeing this incredible work with lots of fish and water (I don't really follow the story yet), I can't wait to watch the movie.

There's also an incredible permanent exhibit that I could have spent hours in. The 5 rooms are covered wall-to-wall in drawings, sketches, paintings, cels, diagrams, and other various elements of work one would find over the course of making an anime film in the artist's studio. But even more interesting is the fact that the rooms are laid out as in-depth and detailed as the actual studio, with thousands of books and props and research lining the desks and chairs and bookshelves. And, because the Japanese keep their hands so clean, very little of the materials on the walls are covered or protected. In fact, you can touch just about everything in the museum and see thousands of beautiful landscapes, the books of research, photograph collections, storyboards, etc.

It truly is an astounding immersion into the sheer volume of an animator's work.

Yeah. I got pretty inspired by that.

Oh. And there's a giant cat bus (a character from one of the movies) that is a children's play area that I must have walked by 4 times because it was so incredible to watch.

Plus there are all sorts of "secret" passageways and cut-outs in the walls that provide interesting viewpoints, and the theming is about as thorough as parts of DisneySea. Which is saying a lot.

But the best part of the day (I mean, come on, you knew I'd save the best for last, right?) was the part where we got to go into a movie theatre and see a screening of a short 10 or 15 minute film that is only shown in the museum.

And, the universe had its eyes on me, it seems, because I was able to follow the film perfectly well, despite it being fully in Japanese.

Why, you ask?

Well, no, I didn't become fluent in Japanese overnight; instead, the movie happened to be mostly revolving around sumo wrestling, which I unabashedly delved into yesterday!

And here I was talking about fat men wrestling each other being a strange source of inspiration, and someone went and made a film about it!

This film, I believe called "Chuzumo", was about an elderly couple that lead very humdrum lives farming on the side of the mountain, until, whilst urinating in the middle of the night off the side of said mountain, the elderly man discovers rats parading off to a sumo match, and becomes entranced in their futile match efforts against giant Yokozuna white rats.

So he and his wife, cook a huge meal for the rats and train them, and the next night watch as the rats go back to the tournament and attempt to dethrone the giant white rats.

And it was AWESOME! The anime, the story, the humor, the music. I absolutely adored it.

Which is probably why I bought the illustrated storybook (in Japanese, of course) and a stuffed sumo rat key chain as souvenirs. It was just too cute and inspirational.

And I got some great postcards to send to my (very jealous, I'm sure) cousins and aunt, two who adore anime, and one who actually is a graduate in animation from an esteemed school in Florida.

I could have spent hours enjoying the merchandise in the shops, and I realized that I have somehow missed out on an incredible art form until. I will definitely be catching up on my Ghibli films as I stay here, but I'll always be stoked that I got to see the rats wrestle in style.

Afterwards, I finished my weekend with a delicious meal of shabu shabu, though I have to say I was quite irritated when I failed to receive notification that plans had changed. But, I might be making progress on the whole temper/passive-aggressive front, because I resolved the situation by finding my own way on a different bus there and even stopped to take a deep cleansing breath before I entered the dinner so I would have the lowest blood pressure possible. I didn't let my anger show at all through dinner and managed not to say anything under my breath.

Even if no one had the courtesy to apologize or acknowledge the awkwardness of my 20-minute-late arrival.

And I even kept my mouth shut after a few ume-chus. AND I just realized that I had no problems asking for help at the bus stop and deciphering the kanji and bus schedules in Japanese. Which means I'm really starting to adjust to living here that it's become second-nature.

Just in time to leave.

Well, what's inspiration for anyway? Big changes. Here we come!

Sumo Inspiration

Oh my goodness.

It's been a pretty boring couple of days around here, which is why I didn't bother to update.

Until now that is.

I mean, I could tell you about making chili and playing piano for Rachael before hanging out with Evan last night, or the fact that the Japanese really nearly messed up my upcoming trip to Hokkaido by changing all our days off...

but those things aren't really that life-changing.

However, today was a life-changing day. Maybe a better word would be life-affirming.

I don't know why. I'm not really sure what about watching giant men wrestle each other around a ring and Brazilian BBQ would seem inspiring on the surface. But there it is.

I'm awash in inspiration today.

Everything around me just seems new and exciting and inspiring to the artist in me. Which is probably why I got that incredible photo of an ume (Japanese plum) barely blossoming from my camera this afternoon!

Guess I'm finally getting out of my funk, ne?

I had the incredible opportunity to go see one of the 3 major Sumo tournaments at Kokugikan today with a friend of mine. Now going into today, I didn't know much about sumo wrestling except the 5 minutes I had seen on TV the other day, the fact that giant men in loincloths try to knock each other over or out of the ring, and that going to one of these semi-annual 15-day tournaments is really awesome.

So, we got 2nd level seats for Day 10 of the tournament, and I did a ton of reading late last night on the website before heading there this morning.

As it turns out, sumo is really a fascinating sport that grew out of ancient Shinto rituals and was refined and regulated by the Shogunate in the Edo Period. And by the end of today, I learned that the sport is much more fascinating and awe-inspiring than it appears on the surface.

Yes, there is a lot of waiting in between the matches, which are usually about 10-15 seconds long. But it is limited to 4 minutes, and by the end of the day, the waiting during staredowns only adds to the excitement and anticipation of which rikishi will prevail. And you get to watch about 100 matches over the course of the day that only get better as the day progresses.

I guess over the years I've just found other country's sports so interesting. I got completely wrapped up in cricket and the Ashes Test when I was visiting Australia 3 years ago, and today I was completely wrapped up in sumo. And I think that's because when I stop and take the time to learn about the culture and rules and regulations behind a sport with someone who understands it and can explain it, the more I delve into it, the more I become a fan.

So I had the incredible experience of learning about the levels of wrestlers, and touring the museum which showed off the two years when 4 yokozuna (the ultimate level of Sumo of which only 69 men have reached in the past 300 years) were competing at once.

And I was in awe. Of how incredible these men are.

And despite being giant oversized men who fight for a living, they are surprisingly kind and generous and artistic individuals.

So today, I felt like a Japanese citizen watching these men wrestle in a sport that has heavy roots in the spiritual culture of this country. And boy did I get mad when all those gai-jin were behaving like jerks.

Except the awesome ones who are sumo wrestlers. They knocked my socks off.

And after that, I ate Brazilian Barbeque until I was stuffed. But I don't think I'll be eating chicken hearts again. That was just too much for my brain and stomach to handle.

And now, with a full belly and a day watching Japan's national sport (when I've never been to an NFL game), I feel incredibly inspired and fortunate at a life that has led me to this -- living in Japan and experiencing unbelievable new and foreign things.

And that my friends, was a pretty awesome day.

And I'm going to the Ghibli (JapAnime) museum tomorrow.

Seriously. Who could ask for anything more?

Enjoy the video below of the day! It includes a sumo match, part of the pseud0-"zamboni-ing" of the dohyo (including an awesome watering can!), and some of the rituals that lead up to a match...

Cake

Not much happened today, but there are a few events worth noting.

I baked a cake last night, and this evening I made a delicious cream cheese frosting to top it off. Oh. And I bought some green food coloring so I could write "Happy Birthday" on it. And managed to do so using a ziploc bag as an icing tube. All thanks to the help of my dear friend Joseph.

And yes, I'm well aware all my posts of late seem to involve food.

"Please sir, can I have some more?"

My good friend Joe (not the same as the aforementioned Joseph) sprained his ankle today, which made me sad because now I won't have my lunch buddy for a few days at the least. :-(

Which reminds me of junior year when I found out I had mono and sprained my ankle in a rehearsal on the same day. And this was about the time that I had worked on 5 separate productions in the course of one week... Man, was I overworked!

There's a lot of drama right now at work with the scheduling, because, surprise, surprise, the shift schedules haven't really been fair for months now... but we haven't quite figured out how to get the Japanese to solve it yet. We'll see what happens...

And I spoke with Jordan which made me realize how independent I've become, how much I've missed the past few weeks while I've been fighting off that nasty cold, and how ambivalent I've become about going home.

I think it's just at the point (about 3 months away) where I'm really starting to love my life here and realizing I'm not ready for it to end. Plus I have a lot to look forward to in terms of guests and vacations and events (both long and short-term). And mostly, I'm just realizing how much I've changed.

And I'm starting to fear going back to my old life, knowing it will be different (especially since I've given up my apartment), but also fearing that I will slip back into many of my old habits and faults that I've worked on here.

I'm different now, and hopefully in mostly better ways. And I fear that going back to the grind of auditions and unemployment will only send me back to the Topher from a year ago, a much less wise and seasoned individual. I'm scared that all the experiences and memories I've made here will start to fade away. I'm basically scared that Japan won't be as important to me as it is right now.

Which all will be for the better, since I will be moving forward with my life. I just don't wanna move backwards.

And that, my friends, is where I am right now. Not quite ready to face the future.

So I'll live in denial for a few more days.

Just a few.

A Quiet Night at Home

I'm aware that 90 percent of my faithful readership audience is my family. That being said, for those of you aren't in that contingent, this post will be more revealing to you. For those of you that are family and know what I'm talking about... enjoy the trip down a familiar lane.

In case you didn't read yesterday's post, today was my next door neighbor's birthday. What I didn't mention is that Evan's parents happen to be in town for a couple of days this week. And last night, well, we were sitting, chatting, talking, and hanging out, and wanted to play cards.

And we didn't have any.

Yes, family, you can start breathing again. I know the shock of discovering that an Assmus is treading this earth without a pack of cards handy (not even a pinochle deck!) nearly wiped you all out, but rest easy.

We simply stated that we would pick up a deck and play cards tonight.

And that we did.

Now, I haven't ever really run across another family as skilled and adept at picking up a 6 hand, double deck game quite like we are (be it in the basement of Rockefeller Center, in a camper in the middle of the woods, or in an airport waiting for a flight). Or really one that plays pinochle as avidly as we do.

So I wasn't really surprised when their game of choice was hearts, but that was no matter. Windows taught me how to play that game a long time ago, and after a quick brain refresher, I was well on my way to winning.

For the first few hands anyway.

Apparently Evan's mom is notoriously for successfully "shooting the moon".

Which she did. And that whole winning thing.

Nonetheless, one of my favorite nights here at E-village thus far has been playing cards with my best friend's fam, much as I would my own.

I think deep down I really am just a card game away from joining a retirement home.

Now if only I could find a foursome who know how to play pinochle or wanna learn.

Because I always run into problems like "Do I have to follow suit and beat it?" and "Do I have to play a heart or is that just a trump game rule?" when I play other games. And my pinochle itch needs a scratchin'.

So, until I'm sitting at my grandparent's house in a few months' time, I'll keep my thousand aces in my dreams.

And play a game of hearts.

A Quickfire Cake

I don't know if any of you watch Top Chef like I do. Religiously that is.

I don't really consider myself much of a foodie. I mean, Bree, SPD, and other close friends of mine are, but I just really like food. I don't really care how expensive or gourmet it is, as long as it tastes delicious and feels really good in my tummy. That goes from McDonald's to fresh conger eel or the kobe beef skewers I've had here. I love any new and exciting combination that will make my mouth happy.

However, I can't lie, I simply adore Top Chef. I look forward to it each week, and I think that has something to do with the inspiration/art/competition mumbo-jumbo that is each week's episode. Seriously, I think it's incredible what these people can whip up (pun intended) in a super limited amount of time usually within some sort of time constraint and theme. It's like 24 hour musicals on crack.

It usually ends up inspiring me to try new combinations in the kitchen, and I often surprise myself with my ratio of success!

Like yesterday, when I decided to make fresh cornbread from scratch to go with my can of chili. Yes, that seems a bit odd, but a $3 can of chili seemed really pain-free and easy and I love baking more than 4 hours of simmering. But, as I heated it up, the chili was not quite as saucy as I would have liked, so I threw in a little pasta sauce I had sitting in the fridge, added a bit more salt, pepper, and garlic, and voila! We are talking a winter feast to die for...

All because those Bravo peeps made me less afraid to take a risk!

But the real coup de grace, was tonight. See, it's my best bud Evan's birthday today (Thursday), and we were all chilling up in Nikki's room, blissfully chatting away munching on Sloppy Joe's. But then... we realized Evan's birthday was rapidly approaching and we had nothing with which to celebrate and/or surprise him.

So, brilliant rockstars that we are, Nikki starts rummaging through her kitchen and decides (with 15 minutes till midnight), that we are gonna whip up a graham cracker frosting cake that will be to die for.

And the QUICKFIRE was ON!

Next thing I know, we're googling for quick frosting recipes, freaking out that she doesn't have any powdered sugar, and re-googling for something else that will work.

We stumble upon a 7 minute egg white recipe (she has a mixer) and get to work, only to realize too late that we were supposed to beat the egg whites separately....

So with 8 minutes to spare, we start over, I'm boiling sugar water as fast as I can on the stove and shouting at the pan, whilst Nikki is separating egg whites and beating them with the mixer waiting for my simple syrup to congeal.

With one minute left to midnight, my syrup has boiled, but sadly not quite string-ified, and we are mixing it all together.

With 15 seconds left the 8 other people in the room start the countdown and we are plating meringue/frosting mash-up "Glee" style onto cinnamon graham crackers hoping our concoction will suffice.

At at the stroke of Tokyo midnight, as the singing of "Happy Birthday" begins, I shout "Utensils down, Hands up!" (Padma would be so proud) to officially finish our quickfire.

Now, I don't think we would have won any competition with our final product, but I'm darn sure we got an A for effort.

And that my friends, is how I made a quickfire birthday cake for my friend Evan. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEIGHBOR!

Signs You're a Gai-jin Actor Who's Been in Japan 6 months

Just a little list of not-so-commonplace occurrences that are strangely commonplace when you live in Japan and work for Mickey Mouse:

1. You're drinking your morning coffee at 16:00 when the sun's about to set (and apparently aren't phased by using military time).

2. When you wake up at 1:49 PM, you realize you can't remember the last time you accidentally slept that late without intending to do so, being sick, or being hungover.

3. You force yourself to "do something" on your day off, so you go to the station for Starbucks and groceries and then do laundry.

4. You feel a sense of accomplishment that it only took you ten minutes to go to the Ito Yokado and buy baking powder, because you prepared by writing the katakana and Kanji translations down to make it easier when asking the lady for help.

5. You're shocked when someone speaks English to you.

6. Blonde people look weird.

7. Tall people look weird.

8. You don't hit your head on the subway train any more.

9. You're excited when it's raining and gross outside so you can watch 6 hours of old Survivor episodes online.

10. Taking the bus for 240 yen (round-trip) to the station when it's raining outside feels like a splurge.

11. You haven't updated your blog or used Skype in a week because you've had a nasty sinus cold. Instead you just sleep and play Farmville, pretending that's a valid excuse.

12. You expect to take a 2 hour nap at work every day, and are grumpy when you don't get that luxury, even though you slept 9 hours the night before.

13. You've finally stopped referring to 1000 yen as "ten bucks".

14. You can successfully bake cornbread and brownies in a mini-microwave/oven/toaster combo.

15. Your English has completely deteriorated, and you say things like "daijobu" to your stateside friends on the phone.

16. 5 show matinee days are normal, and a 2 show matinee day feels like heaven.

17. You buy half-torso puffy vests and reindeer boots and don't care if anyone judges you for your fashion choices because you know your Japanese friends will just say "KAWAII!"

New Year's Aches and Pains

I'm not as young as I used to be.

But let's face it, unless someone figures out time travel or time reversal, that fact will continually refresh itself and we will continue to grow older.

But, in this case, I'm referencing the LONG week I've already had, and it's only Wednesday of my work week. And I'm tired, because this schedule would've been a whole lot easier 6 years ago...

Basically, it went down like this.

For those who don't know, my feelings on New Year's Eve are very similar to Halloween. Too much hype. Not enough planning. In the end, not a whole lot of fun.

Which is why the best times I've had on NYE have been playing cards with grandparents or the one when I was a kid and we all watched The Breakfast Club and ran up and down Everett Street banging pots and pans.

But this year was surprisingly different. Especially when you consider the 14 hour day I worked. I mean, my schedule was sucky(I had to do the first and third shows, then rehearse the "Auld Lang Syne" tag, have a dinner break, do a full run of the countdown show, then do the countdown show, do the finale of the 11:30 PM BBB show, and finally perform the tag countdown to midnight!), it was my Monday, and I knew I had to work all day January 1st.

However, there was something magical about singing "Auld Lang Syne" in Japanese (yes, I actually memorized it!) with 67 people onstage and 1500 people in the audience waving giant glowsticks. (One cast member said, "It's like AVATAR!") And it was awesome to walk out for the jazz showcase to screams and shouts and feel like a rockstar.

And counting down from 20 to the New Year (it was surprisingly easy to count down backwards in Japanese), I completely forgot there'd be cannons and confetti as 33 people (and Mickey) danced the finale one more time! I mean, I was just GENKI! Without a glass of champagne in hand, anyone to kiss, or any of the other standard midnight-tolling necessities. It was truly special and a great night.

And, well, despite the old-man-who-lives-inside-me's objections, I decided to join most of the cast in going out to Shinjuku, since I'll probably only spend one New Year's Eve in Tokyo in my lifetime. And so, while the States were still stuck in the last decade (evidence: my facebook status read "Happy New Year... FROM. THE. FUTURE"), I proceeded to drink a bottle of champagne on the subway (classy, I know, but definitely legal) and roll up to a bar at 2 AM. Yes, when most people were crazy drunk and leaving for the night, we were showing up.

But I was still quite responsible and only stayed for an hour, even if that hardly justifies the hour commute each way on the subway. For one night only, it was as if I was back in New York and the trains ran all night! (if only every half hour at that.)

Luckily, I pulled a New York and sprinted down the stairs and jammed my foot into the doors so the first (of 3) trains at 2:45 in the morning wouldn't leave me. And with a bruised knee as a souvenir, I was turning out the bedroom lights at 3:52 AM.

January 1st was weird and creepy (everything is closed and empty here) and working 5 shows was brutal, but I'm a rockstar and sailed through with flying colors. But the exhaustion kicked in and I was out about 11 last night.

And today was a little easier, even if I wished I could have slept during A-shift like everyone else had the luxury of doing the last two days. And an evening of homemade cranberry cosmos and Sex and the City on the movie channel lended itself to feeling much better. Albeit emotional and crying like a chick.

Especially since I have another 5 more shows on Monday. Seriously, who decided it was tire out Topher week?

Fatigue (especially mental) was evident today when I completely forgot the words in the opening and had to cut off singing 8 counts early, and when I forgot my hat for the train scene in the 4th show.

Now, that wouldn't seem monumental anywhere else, but in Japan, seriously, people will stop me in the hallway if my bowtie is slightly crooked or the shirt flaps are under/over the bowtieor if my shoe is untied (as someone did the 5th show). Yet, somehow, no one, not even the woman dressing me or our super anal Stage Managers or the 15 other people I walk by for my entrance noticed I was hatless today. Nor did I.

Yet everyone onstage did within about 3 seconds.

Luckily, it was our nice, chill SM's today (which is probably why no one noticed) and I did not get in trouble (like I did for saying "Merry Christmas"). So I'm quite thrilled.

Nonetheless, this long week ain't over yet. So time to sleep. Happy New Year!